Group counseling is an excellent way to teach children foundational life skills such as maintaining healthy relationships, communication, social skills, and coping skills. These "soft skills" can be utilized to their advantage for years to come. Groups provide a dynamic of safety, security, belonging, support, and understanding when a child may need it most. Within this structured setting, children can develop skills in resilience, self-management, social skills strategies, and building relationships.
This post will give an overview of how I structure my Skills for BIG Feelings group counseling sessions with children where we work on trauma-informed mindfulness, and building a repertoire of child-friendly coping mechanisms. This framework can be easily followed and allows for flexibility in personalizing different parts to make them work for you, such as changing the agreements (or rules) for your setting, as well as using different opening and closing practices. This SEL emotional regulation curriculum can also be used as a tier-1 social emotional learning whole-classroom intervention.
The Importance of Group Structure
Having a set structure for each group counseling session can be reassuring for children as they always know what to expect next.
I incorporated the design into my Skills for Big Feelings program in that each session includes with a trauma-informed guided relaxation script, an activity, a lesson, then coloring the three new coping skills they are taught in the lesson, then it ends with a guided relaxation script.
The outline of a typical session is:
Opening Practice
Review agreements (group rules)
Review the visual schedule so the children know what to expect
Do a Mindful Moment (trauma-informed guided relaxation script) followed by a Feelings Check-in.)
Complete the weekly SEL lesson and activity
Practice and color the three weekly skills in the workbook (the kid's coloring workbook is included in the book)
Wrap up with a closing Mindful Moment (trauma-informed guided relaxation script) and a final Feelings Check.
Closing Practice
I found that keeping this structure has proven to be very beneficial and helps the children feel safe. Suppose you are running a shorter session (30 minutes or less). In that case, you might want to consider extending the sessions to more than twelve weeks, having the children complete the weekly activity at home in between sessions, or doing a little bit each day.
Opening and Closing Practices for Group Counseling Sessions
Consistent opening and closing practices can also help children feel safe within the structure of the group counseling session. These bookends carve out the time and space of the group. By keeping these practices consistent, the children will know exactly how the sessions will start and exactly how each session will end. These practices don't have to be fancy or long. They just have to be consistent.
It can be helpful, especially at the beginning, to use this time to teach and establish routines and expectations. Maybe, for example, you want to incorporate how you would like the children to enter and exit the room.
An example of one of my simple opening practices includes having the children "press pause" before entering my office by placing a hand on their bellies and taking a slow, deep breath in through their nose and out through their mouth to "smell the flower, and blow the candle." I then remind them that I want them to walk slowly into the room and choose a cushion to sit on. Next, I show a visual of our group agreements, and we review our visual schedule.
You can find more ideas for opening and closing practices in Skills for Big Feelings.
Group Counseling Rules or Agreements
Most children understand that there are rules wherever they go. I use the term "agreements" because we co-create and agree upon them amongst the group members. This helps the children have some buy-in as well.
"Rules" implies the expectation that the children will comply with me as an authority figure. Cooperating together for the development of agreements involves the children setting up the groundwork TOGETHER for a great group. It is what they agree to get what they need from each other to make the group successful.
At the first group session, I empower the children to discuss which agreements they would like to have. The children may need some help with this activity depending on their age or developmental level.
We then review the agreements at the start of every session moving forward to ensure everyone is on the same page. Your agreements will vary based on the type of group, members of the group, and the age of the children in the group.
Some standard group agreements may include the following: confidentiality; being safe, kind, and respectful; having one person talk at a time, staying on topic, and only doing what feels good for one's body.
Sign up for my free SEL resource library to get a copy of this group agreements poster (and a customizable one to fill in!)
Visual Schedule for the Counseling Session
Visuals make processing new information or new routines manageable. Visuals also reduce transition time and boost a child's confidence in understanding something new and knowing what to expect. And knowing what to expect is crucial for children who experience anxiety or emotional dysregulation! Transitions can also be difficult for many kids, so having a visual schedule available is helpful for them to access at a glance. My program, Skills for Big Feelings, comes with a visual schedule.
What is a Self-Scan?
Instead of giving children directives about what to do with their bodies (e.g., "sit in your chair"), you can teach them to be in-tune with their bodies, develop self-awareness skills, and modulate their behavior based on their own observations of their bodies. This helps
them develop self-awareness skills, makes them feel more in control, and encourages self-monitoring and self-regulation.
Keep in mind some children tend to become upset or dysregulated if you give them a directive or correction. The child may not have been taught how to respond correctly when given directions. These children tend to cope better with a self-scan reminder. Skills for Big Feelings comes with a guide for teaching children how to do a self-scan, as well as a self-scan visual for you to use with them!
Sign up for my free SEL resource library to get this self-scan poster and a group agreements poster to fill in!
Trauma Informed Guided Relaxation Scripts with Children
Mindful Moments are the guided relaxation scripts included in the Skills for Big Feelings program. You can even get MP3s of a professional voice artist reading the scripts in the Super Ultimate Growing Bundle.
My intention while writing these scripts was to use invitational language to be more trauma-sensitive. There are some things to keep in mind when teaching mindfulness to children including:
You want to first establish safety and build an atmosphere of trust
When reading the scripts, use a soothing, calm tone
Read slowly, pausing where appropriate
Keep pauses brief at first
Lengthen the pauses as your children get more comfortable with the process
Please note that due to this choice of invitational language, the length of the scripts may be too long for some of your children, especially if they are younger or have not experienced guided relaxation scripts before. So, in the growing bundle I do provide some briefer versions of some of the scripts for you!
After practicing the Mindful Moments, it is helpful to do a Feelings Check with the kids. This provides an opportunity to check in to see how the children experienced the mindfulness exercise, especially when you are first introducing it to them.
During this activity, it is important to emphasize that all feelings are valid and welcome. As the facilitator, we can model a Feelings Check by sharing our own experience in an appropriate manner. We also want to model being nonjudgmental and to avoid labeling emotions as positive or negative.
Counseling Session Activities
In Skills for Big Feelings I designed weekly activities and a workbook that provide the opportunity to learn and color the three coping skills they learn each week. Coloring can produce a mindful state, and it can help visual learners to recall the skills more quickly.
I encourage the children to be creative and color the pictures however they see fit. I remind them that there are no right or wrong ways to color because the unique workbook belongs to them. They might want to draw their versions of the skills, which I also encourage.
In my Skills for Big Feelings groups, we sit on cushions on the floor, using clipboards to lean on while coloring. I prefer using outdoor cushions to sit on because they are more durable.
When I run the Skills for Big Feelings program in larger groups, such as in a whole classroom setting, each child works at their table or desk.
The End of a Group Counseling Session
We usually close the group by doing another guided relaxation Mindful Moment and a Feelings Check. We do our closing practice, and I remind them how I want them to exit the room. For example, after the closing practice, I call their names one at a time, have them put away their cushions, and ask them to line up.
When working with young children, it's helpful to have visual makers in your space for where you want them to line up, especially when they are first learning the routine. I find it beneficial to use painter's tape to mark a space on the floor where they should line up.
Informed Consent for Counseling
If I run a small group in a public school, I reach out to the parents beforehand to speak with them about the group, what to expect, and let them know what the objectives are. I can answer their questions on the phone and then send a written consent letter home for them to sign. By making this connection on the phone and getting explicit consent from the parents, I hope they will be active collaborators and practice the skills with their children at home every week.
Having informed consent is considered best practice across all fields of counseling. Securing consent helps to prevent needless headaches down the road. Some school counselors may use passive informed consent, such as opt-out forms, but I do not prefer to use them for small-group work. Ideally, the parents will be active collaborators and practice their children's coping skills at home every week. We always want the support of the parent.
So, of course an informed consent form is also included within the Skills for Big Feelings program!
Skills for Big Feelings
If you want a comprehensive resource for teaching children to learn emotional regulation skills please check out my Super Ultimate Skills for Big Feelings Growing Bundle. You will receive the book (available in paperback or eBook formats) as well as my Coping Skills Craftivities book, digital interactive notebooks, printable poster pack, trauma-informed guided relaxations, presentation slides, editable documents, schedules, family handouts, coloring coping skills workbook, games, and SO MUCH MORE! Plus, as more resources are added to this growing bundle, those who have already purchased it will get access to the updates at no additional cost. (The price does increase when I add in new content, so get it now!
